Anger and Acceptance.

I happened on this video on youtube. The thumbnails are clickbait, but hell I was bored and curious. It’s actually quite a well thought out video as it covers positive female role models.

However, there are some issues with their first mention who is male. Rather, a female that is a Man. It made news quite some time ago and all of that shite… and, well, to be honest…

I can’t find fault in either sides argument. Just that he is far more selfless and brave than I am. The thought of giving birth truly horrifies me. I’m not saving my eggs. I’m having my womb out asap (for medical reasons as well as the obvious one). So, to me personally I can’t even imagine the thought of carrying a child. There’s no way he’d be able to breast feed as he appears to be post chest surgery… but saying that, how much would biology alter those results.

How much damage will have been done to the child due to the unnatural concentration of testosterone? Or not, simply because they would have taken in the aid and advice of the medical professionals around them to ensure as safe a pregnancy as possible.

Though, all of that shite isn’t the reason I’m writing this.

Take a look at this comment chain.

There is a comment that has spouted a LOT of responses. While on my mobile I had to press read more quite a few times to reveal that people are FAR too quick to attack those that make honest comments.

The original post has since been edited, for now it reads as this –

Biologically he still a woman inside. A man never can give birth.

I believe originally it was all caps and didn’t have the word Biologically. The fact that the post has been edited shows that the poster is willing to listen to those that actually speak with them as a person.

This is the first post I have submitted to the shitstorm

sorry you endured all of the hate and anger dear… perhaps the op needs an edit or two. Subsequent replies by yourself explain what you meant in a far more eloquent way. I dispise tumblr white knights… always on the attack. Where, I’m trans and… hell I know where you’re coming from and as far as I’m concerned you’re right. shrug

NOTE- A very dear friend of mine still has a tumblr. I had a tumblr (before the Yahoo buyout but that’s another story). I enjoy posts I see on tumblr. However, it has become a very irritating place to observe. This youtube video says all I need to about the site.

Their response to myself (darn near buried)

+Nolascana​ THANK YOÜ.. Your comment brought tears to my eyes..You touched my heart.. 😘GOD BLESS YOU

This is the second response I have left on the matter. At this point it might not even be the last… it all depends on who replies to me.

You’re welcome.

It surprised me how people were completely on the attack. Instead of trying to talk about things rationally, people that (in my opinion) have little buisiness getting as invested and involved in something of such a nature. My biological sex will never change. I know I’m only altering my appearance and chemical balances and so on.

So… yes, as you said. He is still a woman inside. As I always will be. A man cannot give birth.

Even the seahorse argument is moot. We are humans.

I think a lot of people went on the attack perhaps because of the initial phrasing and all of that.

There’s no sense in getting angry, if anything that makes people stick to their points even harder – whether they are right or wrong.

I have met people that have categorically said that I shouldn’t get any of my operations on the NHS. I’ve had others arguing back – with such anger- that they were wrong.
Thing is, I know where they’re coming from. But, likewise I said to them ‘fine, but I don’t want to pay for people that go to A&E for accidents involving alcohol consumption that could have been avoided if they were sober’.
My saying that, was, and always will be more effective than people fighting those battles for me.
I hope this ebbs down for you soon. Be well!

And to be honest… This is mostly how I feel in general about my situation.

Accepting. I know that this in many ways is a pointless journey I am on… but on the other hand. It is not.

I just hate how other people jump in to defend me on such issues. It’s as if I am incapable of talking to people that don’t agree with the way I chose to live. Transitioning is a choice I have made. A series of many. Because the alternative was not worth the pain.

I often find myself defending those that would probably spit on me on sight… purely because punching them is only going to anger them more than sitting them down with a coffee and telling them we will have to agree to disagree.

 

I am far luckier than your average transgender person. I hear so many stories about them being made homeless and being beaten for being who they are.

Thing is, I’ve managed to slip under the radar. I’ve lived in a homophobic area and not once drawn their attention. I’ve worked a poorly paid job and… well, managed to keep a poorly paid job I suppose.

I have moved country, and found the move has done me a world of good. I’ve had people ask SO many questions that none of them are original anymore.

I’ve managed to find a decently paying job, after only three weeks of unemployment, and managed to keep it. I now live in a city. On my own.

Not neccessarily where I hoped to live, but still, I’m making a go of it. My building neighbors mostly call me male, there’s one neighbor that calls me she.

People at work mess up the pronouns. I don’t always notice, or, should I say visibly notice. Sometimes I’ll ask my department workers if I heard what I think I heard… and move on.

At first, people messing up the pronouns used to piss me off. Didn’t matter who it was it’d annoy me. Now it’s water off a ducks back, because I know it won’t happen forever.

At work, I recently had one of the newer blokes confused as HELL as I was discussing one of a friend’s relatives. He has a niece that wishes to transition. And we were discussing perhaps the nephew meeting me, or perhaps having my details if he wishes to speak to me. I even mentioned his mother being there too if she wished. Everything would be done in the city centre n all that…

And the coworker looked at us both. I simply laughed and told him I’m a transman. I was honestly surprised to learn he didn’t already know. He had thought I was a gay man… though the odd thing I’d say, or others would say, didn’t seem to add up.

I’ve learned to be open about my situation. Colleagues have to have my back (thank you equality in the workplace legislation), or at the least tolerate me for me. I’ve had one of my department workmates simply shrug and say he sees me as a dude with tits… as, there’s been an occasion where one of my binders has malfunctioned to the point of restricting my breathing. I had to explain to him that an ambulance wasn’t necessary, I’d be able to resolve the reason of me being close to passing out if I went to the nearest restroom asap.

He’s not really seen me out of work, but he knows the situation, and he knows I’m pre op.

 

Hell, nearly I’m not.

I ALMOST already had my upper op… but, well, medical complications being what they are, I now have to wait till the end of the month.

I was too hurt to say anything about the cancellation at the time. Too scared to say anything about the impending operation prior to the events.

So… yes, milestones.

To me it’s just another thing… it’s… part of the process to me.

 

At least work is accepting that I will have a considerable amount of time off. There are regulations in place to protect me when I’m trying to get back into work.

 

I feel there’s an incredible amount of postcode lottery going on where some of the legislation is, however, I did move 300 miles away from where I was born. That move, if I hadn’t made it, I feel that I wouldn’t even be having my operation this year at all.

 

I guess, a lot of what makes this easier. A LOT easier, is that I have accepted a lot about myself, and the way people are.

I don’t get angry about as many small things, things that are petty and all that… I don’t make as many mountains out of molehills anymore. If I were on my soap box going ‘look at me, I’m a special snowflake and demand different treatment.’ everyone would turn on me within moments. Causing more trouble for myself, than just living my life…

I dunno.

Just, calm yo tits people… or, if you find that you are amongst more educated people. Contain the calamity that is your mammaries.

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